Random

I realized something today. Ready for this? Okay, here it is: Maybe I’m not normal. Please tell me if you do these things. 1. I sometimes pretend I’m in a movie, and whatever music happens to be playing is the soundtrack. For example, a couple of days ago I got in my car to go […]

His voice was like a constant buzzing, grating on my nerves. I tried to ignore him, hoping he’d get the hint and just leave. Would you have the nerve to keep right on bugging someone who pretended you weren’t there? I typed. I sang out loud. I even warned him of the consequences if this

Oh, please! I promise you, the picture on the yahoo personals ad is Liv Tyler. No doubt she’s looking for a date, now that the LOTR trilogy gig is all up. Aragorn just has no time for her, what with ruling the world and all.

I got in trouble today. Yes, it’s true. I was reprimanded by a big fat meany cat. The great and powerful got behind his little curtain and pulled his levers and punched his buttons and spoke into his distort-o-matic microphone to make his squeaky, weasel-y voice sound mondo-scary-o. He made the giant head appear with

All I intended to do was simply go to Wal-Mart, buy the toilet paper, popsicles, and artichokes, and come back home. I never expected a film crew would be shooting a movie out at Caddo Lake, and that Kate Hudson, Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal, and Mel Gibson would be in our little town taking a

This morning Jacob plugged in the Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones DVD. Of all the SW installments, this one begs for ridicule. So, here’s my version: Setting: Having survived an assassination attempt, Senator Padme is whisked away from her home base to be transported to a safe haven. Obi Wan Kenobi, obviously having

Once, years ago, I was listening to a Rich Mullins cassette tape in my car. When I stopped in front of our house, I ejected the tape. But, without skipping a single note or breaking rhythm, the song kept playing. I stared, dumbfounded, at the ejected tape. It was clearly out of the player. What

We live in an old house with a steep-pitched roof and lots of windows. Forty-eight I think. Right now an army of roofers is tromping around on my roof battling gravity in an attempt to conquer the ugly flat brown shingles and remove them from their current hierarchic postion. The goal is to replace them

The headline said, “360-degree picture released from Mars rover.” For a brief moment — a very brief moment, mind you — I thought it was referring to temperature. Honest.