not a country girl

cows are actually geniuses, but they spend all their time predicting future weather patterns, which is why they haven’t bothered making societies and using us for food….

plus, they really like eating grass, so they don’t see much need for the whole city thing.

love,
luke

You know a guy named Rusty who has cows!? You know sometimes I think people pretend to be from another place while they’re on the internet. Some examples of people I had to question thier native land where people from Fiji, Hollywood, the Horsehead Nebula, and an intersting if not disturbed fellow from Hell. Any doubts that you are from Texas are crushed with the small clip of Rusty here.

I think it’s because they have horns. (Do cows have horns I’ve seen like 3 in my life and I can’t remember if they did.)And the horns tell the future. Miles fun fact about cows (that he got off the back of an instant Quaker Oats package the other day): These exotic yet domestic animals also have 7 stomachs which is only 5 more then Carnie Wilson.

Of course it’s going to be a cold winter. All you have to do to know that is watch the prophetic film The Day After Tomorrow. Rusty is just making up the cow thing to look smart.

This made me laugh out loud. That’s 100 more points for you!

Rusty is Jacob’s aide, and he lives out in the country about twenty miles from here. He has cows, but I don’t know if they have horns or not. I think some do and some don’t. (This is pathetic. I should know more about cows. I grew up in Texas. But north Dallas isn’t exactly the roper capital of the state.)

I just think it’s weird that a cow’s hair grows in anticipation of the weather. I mean, even if the cow knew it was going to get cold, how would his hair know???

I thought about trying to find an answer to your question, and then it occurred to me that your husband is a biologist for CRYING OUT LOUD! Why don’t you ask him and then tell us the answer?

That is really wierd. Maybe thier skin responds to pressure? While I could find no real answer on the web here’s some other (myths?) people offer:

It will be a bad winter if:

Hogs gather sticks, straw, to make a bed.
Squirrels begin gathering nuts in September.
Birds eat up all the birries early.
Juncos are feeding in the trees. (What the hell is a Junco? Sounds like a funk band that would play at one of those clubs near Harvard Square.)
Birds huddle on the ground.
Muskrat houses are built big.
Beaver lodges have more logs.
The north side of a beaver dam is more covered with sticks.
Squirrels’ tails grow bushier.
Fur or hair on animals such as horses, sheep, mules, cows, and dogs is thicker than usual.
Squirrels build nest low in trees.
Crows gather together.
Hoot owls call late in the fall.
Screech owls sound like women crying.

Ulp!

Simple. They read the Farm Animals Almanac.

Some have horns, but others are in the rhythm section. And there are the strings section. Still others are not musically inclined at all.

When cows sing sweet and low, it’s moosic to my ears. heh heh.

Okay. Sorry. That was dumb.

Statistical proof???

Did you read that in National Geographic? Come on, fact boy. Cite your sources. You’re slipping here.

Oh. Heh heh. Good point. I’ll ask him and get back to you.

Rusty also told me that squirrel hunters predict harsh winters based on the thickness of squirrel hides. But, he went on to say, squirrel hunting season hasn’t started yet, and he doesn’t hunt them because he doesn’t eat them. I don’t eat them either, in case you were wondering.

I think a Junco is a bird. But I would like to see a funk band feeding in the trees.

That was good.

Jeanne,
Allen deserves 300 points from the Douglass Backwoods gang, who knows what a junco is.

Well let’s go there then….

And they make udderly mooving music.

Eating a squirrel would have never crossed my mind. How odd you think you must defend yoursefl from that idea…. Horrifying.

Well I’m starving and I hear my opossum trap dinging. Goodnight.

I e-mailed George, and here’s his response:

Um, ’tis true that animals in general, because they typically live 24/7 outside, are biomonitoring the environment and can “anticipate”
climatological changes. But I’m not so certain it is as predictive as
Rusty would like to believe, rather I think it is more in response to
recent weather patterns (e.g., heavy June rains, no July and Aug temps
above 100 degrees F, etc.) How are cows any diffrent from dogs that
shed their winter coats? Probably the same type of phenomenon. I’ve
noticed some of the forestry guys who spend a lot of time in the woods
are prognosticating a colder winter than the past several… next time
I hear one say that I’ll ask why they think so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So there you have it. Or at least as much as there is to have from a man who specializes in invertebrates.

Actually, people do eat squirrel meat around here. And probably possum, too.

As a little kid I had a friend whose dad was a hunter. When I spent the night with her, her mom prepared a big “country” breakfast, including fried squirrel, fried bird (I have no idea what kind — they just called it “bird”), fried potatoes with gravy, eggs, biscuits, sliced cantelope, etc. All homegrown or shot by her dad or made from scratch. So I have tasted squirrel, but it looked like chicken mcnuggets to me. And I didn’t eat much. At my house breakfast consisted of froot loops or lucky charms.

That same friend had a pet pig that hated my dad and would butt him in the leg with its snout whenever he went outside in our back yard. They lived behind us in suburban north Dallas — sort of a Beverly Hillbillies family in an otherwise quiet neighborhood.

100 points for funny -50 for Froot Loops. Frosted Flakes rule the morning meal.

I’ve neem to Dallas, nice place. I saw a Mavericks game there. They were playing the Bulls and it was a fun time.

it’s the force, man … the force.

cows are clever

So is George saying that not only do cows know where to get their winter coats they also observe the recent changes in weather patterns. Or do they know the weather patterns from watching the news. I wonder do they know of any good winter coat sales.

Have you heard the song ‘Cows with Guns’, its hilarious.
BTW I visited your cool website. I tried to leave a message in the guest book as well, but Im inclined to be technologically challenged.
One more thing, before this comment turns into a book. Your cows are expecting winter therefore mine are dressing for SUMMER! YAY!

Re: cows are clever

I’ve never heard “Cows with Guns.” Would you like to sing it for me? :o)

Thanks for visiting my website. Your comment did show up in the guest book. It made me smile.

Enjoy your summer.

♥ EZ