Hmmm. Now where did I leave that whip?

Leave a Comment / Family, George, Mama Patsy, Papa Jim, Parents / By

As I mentioned in my previous post, George, Jacob, and I had lunch with my parents Saturday. We told them we were coming to Dallas to shop, but we didn’t tell them what we planned to buy. After we sat down to eat, Mom asked me what we were shopping for.

A note of explanation here is in order. For those of you who don’t know us well, we live a pretty simple lifestyle. Our decision to buy a sporty little car fell well on the extravagant side of our normal choices. When Mom asked her question, George and I glanced at each other and grinned. After a few moments of Mom looking back and forth between us and no one saying anything, George spoke up.

“Jeanne’s getting some leather.”

Knowing he meant the car’s upholstery, I chuckled.

Mom took another bite of tuna salad and calmly asked, “What are you getting? A dominatrix outfit?”

Dad dropped his fork. George’s eyes widened. For once I was thankful Jacob did not know a word’s meaning.

I blurted, “MOM!” and then laughed. “Do you think we’ve turned into pervs or something?”

She shrugged. “Well, you’re the ones being all secretive and smiling at each other.”

I explained we were getting leather seats, and though Mom still didn’t catch on right away, Dad immediately realized we were car shopping.

I would tell you about the dream interpretation she gave me when I came to her at thirteen, upset about a nightmare I’d had the night before. But I’m planning to use it in a scene in my current novel, so you’ll have to wait. Suffice it to say she’d read enough Freud to horrify an adolescent girl.

A dominatrix outfit! I don’t even want to know why she thought of that first thing. Poor Dad.

Pleasant dreams, gang. I’m keeping mine leather-free.

0 thoughts on “Hmmm. Now where did I leave that whip?”

  1. Anonymous

    Ah, but it’s mainstream now

    Last night I was glad my 16 yo daughter was occupied elsewhere when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

    I suppose the only thing we can do is wait for this vile (creepy, disgusting, vulgar, lewd, unsanitary, demeaning and violent) stuff to run its course and become passe.

    Susan Kaye

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Ah, but it’s mainstream now

    Last night I was glad my 16 yo daughter was occupied elsewhere when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

    I suppose the only thing we can do is wait for this vile (creepy, disgusting, vulgar, lewd, unsanitary, demeaning and violent) stuff to run its course and become passe.

    Susan Kaye

    Reply
  3. milesprowl

    Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses. [Sings out, “Angel!” like in the David Bowie song Golden Years.] I’m sick [coughs]. Anywhat, your mom reminds me of Crystals grandmother. She sounds cool.

    Reply
  4. milesprowl

    Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses. [Sings out, “Angel!” like in the David Bowie song Golden Years.] I’m sick [coughs]. Anywhat, your mom reminds me of Crystals grandmother. She sounds cool.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    I’m cool, I’m hip. Yea, right! I embarrass my kids on a regular basis. I hope I’m as ‘with it’ as your mom when I’m her age…or at least when I’m older. Who knows? I might be her age now!

    Donna

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    I’m cool, I’m hip. Yea, right! I embarrass my kids on a regular basis. I hope I’m as ‘with it’ as your mom when I’m her age…or at least when I’m older. Who knows? I might be her age now!

    Donna

    Reply
  9. jeannedamoff

    Re: your mom’s a hoot

    Donna, she’s 72. You’ve got a few years to go. ;o)

    Deborah, yes, she’s hilarious. I’ll admit there are times I wish she’d keep her hilarity to herself. But she cracks me up most of the time. I love her.

    Thanks for stopping by my journal!

    Reply
  10. jeannedamoff

    Re: your mom’s a hoot

    Donna, she’s 72. You’ve got a few years to go. ;o)

    Deborah, yes, she’s hilarious. I’ll admit there are times I wish she’d keep her hilarity to herself. But she cracks me up most of the time. I love her.

    Thanks for stopping by my journal!

    Reply
  11. jeannedamoff

    Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses.

    Well, now, this may shed some light on the insomnia and exploding-teeth dreams, eh?

    Mom is a trip. I just warn people to travel at their own risk. ;o)

    Reply
  12. jeannedamoff

    Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses.

    Well, now, this may shed some light on the insomnia and exploding-teeth dreams, eh?

    Mom is a trip. I just warn people to travel at their own risk. ;o)

    Reply
  13. jeannedamoff

    Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

    Judging by history, I don’t think sexual shenanigans are in danger of ever becoming passe. But at least our kids have other options. Have you introduced your daughter to Dostoyevsky?* :o)

    *see my August 11 post

    Reply
  14. jeannedamoff

    Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

    Judging by history, I don’t think sexual shenanigans are in danger of ever becoming passe. But at least our kids have other options. Have you introduced your daughter to Dostoyevsky?* :o)

    *see my August 11 post

    Reply
  19. allenb

    Wow … I mean she said that right over the dinner table I mean … wow. She uh … whoa. Although the headline kinda grabbed me, and not in a way that made me comfortable. lol

    Reply
  20. allenb

    Wow … I mean she said that right over the dinner table I mean … wow. She uh … whoa. Although the headline kinda grabbed me, and not in a way that made me comfortable. lol

    Reply
  27. cocinelle

    shocker

    So what, like you don’t have a dominatrix outfit in your closet? And here I had always thought that you were a very honest person 🙂
    I think your mother must have a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine. I saw a blurb on it recently about “fun and frisky ways to tantalize your partner (our favorite requires a glazed donut)”. Thankfully Judah cannot put that many phonetic sounds together that quickly! I am all for fun and frisky but why should the things that go on between one’s legs be spread from person to person like an STD of bad ideas? Need to know, people. It works for the FBI just fine!
    “Let me tell you this great story on oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘no.'” _ Woody Allen

    Reply
  28. cocinelle

    shocker

    So what, like you don’t have a dominatrix outfit in your closet? And here I had always thought that you were a very honest person 🙂
    I think your mother must have a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine. I saw a blurb on it recently about “fun and frisky ways to tantalize your partner (our favorite requires a glazed donut)”. Thankfully Judah cannot put that many phonetic sounds together that quickly! I am all for fun and frisky but why should the things that go on between one’s legs be spread from person to person like an STD of bad ideas? Need to know, people. It works for the FBI just fine!
    “Let me tell you this great story on oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘no.'” _ Woody Allen

    Reply

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